Season's Echoes
by EggRoyalty
Summary: Christmas was never her favorite time of year. - A story about a hopeful holiday in three parts.
1. Past

AN: Hi everyone! Here's a special Christmas three-shot for the holidays! I'll be uploading one chapter a day. There might be a couple spoilers for the end of Breaking the Cycle (BTC), which shares the same universe as this fic, as well as the Mystic Messenger Christmas DLC. So, if you haven't read that yet, please check it out! It's on my profile. As for the DLC, please play it...

* * *

❆ Christmas Eve - 9:46 AM ❆

Zai didn't like Christmas very much. It wasn't like she thought there was anything _wrong_ with the holiday, but that was all it was to her, a holiday. She enjoyed the time she got off from school, and spending time with her acquaintances from class, but otherwise? There was nothing too remarkable about the season. In fact, she would rather stay at home and pretend the world outside didn't exist during those days. Everywhere she went, there would be happy people, couples, families. It seemed like everyone but her was out enjoying the snowy weather. A frustrated noise escaping past her lips, she buried her head further beneath her blankets and pulled out her phone.

 _No new messages._

The brightness was much too high for such a dark and enclosed space, but if she tried, she could pretend to convince herself that her tears were from the painful light and not because of her parents forgetting to wish her a Merry Christmas for the second year in a row. Opening her contacts, she scrolled down to their phone numbers and dialed her mother first.

"Come on... please, _please_ , just this once, answer your phone. Pick up...please!"

 _"Sorry, I'm not here right now! If your inquiries are business related, please drop me an email at-"_ The rest of the familiar message blurred away as she waited for the beep at the end.

"...Hi Mom! I- uh...I just wanted to see how you and Dad are doing? I heard work is going really well with your new clientele." She paused for a second to wipe her eyes. "Also, there's um, there's been something I wanted to ask you two! I mean, I know you both send me texts sometimes, but you, ah, never...reply to my calls for some reason. I...was hoping you two could come visit." Empty silence was her response, and Zai felt her insides twist into knots.

"A-anyways! Sorry for wasting your time! I know you're both busy, so I won't send Dad a message either." Smothering a teary hiccup with her palm, she did her best to finish strong. "I miss you guys...talk to you later." She ended the message and let her head fall against her pillow with a sob.

"Or don't, I guess..." Zai rolled over onto her stomach before shoving her face into the soft cushions.

 _It's not like you two miss me at all._

❆ Christmas Eve - 12:22 PM ❆

Sinking into the soft upholstery of the booth, Zai exhaled long and slow as she cradled her hot chocolate close to her chest. She hadn't wanted to go outside today, but with school out of session, there weren't enough students on campus to warrant usage of the kitchen facilities. Therefore, she'd had to find lunch elsewhere. Unfortunately, 'lunch' had turned into 'self-indulgent pity party' as she went about ordering every extravagant-looking dessert on the menu instead of getting real food. She was already about halfway through her fourth crepe when a commotion broke out a few tables away from her.

"Is that-!?"

"Yes, it is!"

"Oh my goodness, look at that _ring_!"

"It must have cost a fortune! You're so lucky!"

"I know! I'm just so lucky to have such an incredible fiancé! Oh- oh! I can say that now! He's my _fiancé_!"

Apparently, someone had gotten engaged. Zai tried not to let the sting of envy infect her. She should be happy for that woman. It wasn't every day that you found someone who was willing to share their life with you for the rest of the foreseeable future.

Sighing, she sank down even further and crammed the remains of the fudge-drizzled crepe into her mouth before asking for the bill.

* * *

On the way home, she contemplated every couple she passed, eyes scanning for anyone wearing a ring, which was unlikely, considering the weather. Zai absently wondered what it would be like to date someone. She was already in her twenties but had yet to meet anyone who had come even close to gaining her interest romantically. Maybe she just wasn't trying hard enough. After all, she spent a lot of time studying for her degree, and even in her last year of college, she couldn't think of a single person who had remained her friend through her entire school career.

 _Wow_ , her life was so boring.

Unlocking the door to her apartment, she ignored how barren her living space was and went directly back towards her bed. Upon checking her phone, she found _no new messages_. Flopping backward onto her thick duvet, she pushed all thoughts of her absent parents out of her mind and tried to imagine what it would be like, being in a relationship with someone.

Would they go out on a lot of dates? She couldn't see herself doing stereotypical coupley stuff with anyone. Things like movies and romantic walks in the park didn't interest her. Perhaps they would spend an afternoon just relaxing in bed, reading to each other. Or they could go out for coffee and sit outside while enjoying the weather.

Zai hummed, she'd need to find someone to date before she could make those particular fantasies come true. If she were being honest with herself, her current social situation left a lot to be desired. She hated to admit it, but she was _lonely_. If she wasn't sleeping, she was studying, and if she wasn't studying, she was eating. She didn't leave the campus unless it was for food, and every time her peers had invited her out for drinks, she'd declined, even when she had nothing to do that evening. Why was she such a shut-in?

All things considered, maybe she was making a big deal out of nothing. So what if she hadn't found anyone yet. She was still young, she had time and there were plenty of available people out there who would gladly wait for her until she was ready to make those kinds of commitments. Plus, there was the fact that she was still in school.

Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and resolved to make the best of the remainder of her senior year. But for now, she was going to sleep. Today was a holiday after all.

❆ Christmas Eve - 08:13 PM ❆

She woke up much too early in her opinion. Although it was already nighttime when she roused herself from slumber, she was still tired. Regardless, she forced herself out of bed and out of the house for the second time that day, facing the horror of crowded department stores and screaming mothers with their crying children, as well as disgruntled fathers and anxious men, all trying to get their significant others late Christmas presents. Thankfully, Zai had already ordered her parcel ahead of time and just had to provide her receipt in order to pick it up.

After waiting nearly forever in line, almost crushed between someone's stack of boxes and another person's pile of 'Holiday Savings', she finally made it to the counter to retrieve her package.

"Here you go! Have a Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!" She was already trying to dash away and avoid the swarm of people gathering by the time the clerk had said goodbye, but she tried to shout her thanks over the crowd anyways before all but sliding out the door with relief. Clutching the simply wrapped box against her body, she skillfully navigated her way back home before collapsing behind the door. With an excited giggle, she ran to her bedroom and bounced on her mattress once before delicately removing the generic winter-patterned paper and removing the lid. From the box, she extracted a custom-made cream cashmere sweater. Letting out a breathless gasp at the sight of the pristine fabric, she hastily removed her old sweater, which had gone from a bright purple to a washed-out mauve over the years, and put it on.

Jumping up, she ran to the closest mirror and shook with delight as she admired herself. The sweater fit her perfectly, with some extra room added around the neck and arms to make it easier to put on and take off without damaging it. All in all? An immaculate piece of clothing. It had cost a small fortune too. She'd only been able to afford it by setting aside a tiny portion of her monthly checks for the past year and a half.

Wrapping her arms around her middle, she tried not to cry as she thought about her parents once more. It was obvious that they still cared about her, otherwise why bother sending money to their daughter living in Korea each month? She could always get a job to pay for college, but if they were going to send her checks in the mail each month, she'd rather focus all her time on school. Slowly walking back to her room, she sat down on the edge of her mattress and stared blankly at her phone. What if they were just trying to keep her off their backs? Maybe they thought that if they kept paying for her necessities, she wouldn't have a reason to bother them. Sniffling quietly, she lied down on her side and tried to fall asleep, but was startled when her phone started ringing.

"Wha-?" Pressing the answer button, she held the device up to her ear, not knowing what to expect.

 _"Hello? Zai?"_ Tears spring to her eyes as she realized just whose voice was being projected through the speaker.

"Mom!?"


	2. Present

❆ Christmas Day - ? ? ? ❆

Something had gone wrong this year. Ever since she'd downloaded a weird messenger app and been pulled into the lives of the RFA, nothing had been the same. But this, this was too much. It was probably her seventh or eighth Christmas within the past month. The eleven-day cycle had been somehow replaced with a bizarre two-day loop which threw Zai's head into a spin every time she tried to comprehend it. _Wheels within wheels_ , they'd said. Nonetheless, the RFA was practically her family now, and despite her feelings for Zen and Jaehee, she'd found herself drawing closer to Seven lately for one reason or another.

She wasn't interested in him, no, but he understood her feelings toward the holiday season better than anyone else at the time. While Jaehee and Yoosung were busy with the RF- wait, no, it was technically the C&R fundraiser wasn't it? Jumin was preoccupied with his issues with V, and Seven was practically drowning in work himself. It seemed that even with the RFA in her life, Christmas was doomed to feel cold and numb.

Her parents had started calling her again for a while before she'd downloaded the app. They never gave her a reason for why they'd practically ignored her existence for two years, but she hadn't responded to them since she was dragged into this ever-repeating time trap. At this point, she'd forgotten just how long it had been since she first joined. Was it one year? Two? They were melding together right before her eyes, and although this strange phenomenon with Christmas had broken the monotony up slightly, she wasn't sure which was worse.

Even stranger still, Unknown was actually messaging her, and responding to her texts. Deep down, Zai knew she should be scared of this man. She'd seen what he could do, what he _had_ done. Her palm ghosted over the place on her stomach where he'd accidentally stabbed her some time ago on accident, when she'd tried fighting back against him, only for her to impale herself on his knife. She never wanted to experience that feeling ever again, but the look of horror on his face when he'd realized what had happened...

Zai shuddered lightly and forced her hand down to her side, using her other hand to pick up her phone and scroll through the messages he'd sent. Did she really want to meet him? She had already been to the fundraiser event several times by now, it was nothing new. Unknown on the other hand...

He was an enigma, and Zai loved figuring people out.

❆ Christmas Day - 04:07 PM ❆

Lightly clutching her stomach, Zai tried not to think about how sick with anxiety she felt as she sat on the bench beneath a tree on a hill, overlooking a sprawling park full of families playing in the snow. To anyone else, she looked like a normal girl reading something on her phone. But really, she was just watching people out of the corners of her eyes, glancing every few seconds to see if she spotted white hair tipped with pink or if it was just her imagination going wild from nervousness.

"Is this even real?" It was a question she'd asked herself many times over the year. Maybe her encounters with the RFA were the result of something else other than a cursed phone app. What if she was in a coma and this all made up? "Am...am I real?" A gust of wind cut right through her clothes and Zai shivered. What a terrifying prospect.

Just then, she felt another body sit down next to hers. Turning to look at her new bench-mate, amber met mint and both parties froze.

"...It's you..." Her words were almost a whisper, and to her surprise, Unknown looked almost _embarrassed_. Then he stuck his hand out towards her, making her jump involuntarily.

"Calm down. I'm not here to hurt you or your precious RFA." He said the title of the organization like it was a curse word but left his arm outstretched anyway. Zai cautiously shook his hand. "Truce, then. Just...just until Christmas is over." They return their hands to their laps while her gaze carefully sweeps over the man at her side.

"Um...what prompted this then?" He gives her a blank look. "I mean, this meeting. I would've thought you'd be busy trying to convince me to come with you to paradise by now." He sat up straighter and angled his eyes downward.

"Do you ever get the feeling...that we've been here before?" Any retorts she might have had died in her throat at his words, and she glanced away.

"Sometimes..."

They sat in silence for a few minutes while Zai tried to work out her troubled thoughts. It was almost surreal, being on this bench on Christmas right next to a person who, by all rights, she should be angry with. He'd tried time and time again to ruin her life and separate her from hew new friends (family, her heart cried), but today always felt more muted than the rest of the year. And it had been repeating for what might have been weeks at this point. She was too tired to fight.

"It seems that everyone I know has a problem with Christmas," Letting her head rest against the back edge of the bench, she tried to admire the falling snowflakes. "So what's yours?" He huffed lightly, his breath coming out in plumes of vapor.

"It's my only day off, but I don't like it."

"You don't like not having work?"

"Yes. If my mind is focused on other things, then I don't have to think about what this day means for me."

"...What does it mean for you?"

His head was tilted towards the sky, a spark of remembrance in his eyes.

"I've associated this day with hopelessness for such a long time. But, it's strange. Today I feel almost...cheerful." Zai stiffened as she felt his hand settle on top of hers. "This might be the only time I ever say something like this, so listen carefully." He turned to face her completely and she realized that there was a strange clarity in him that she'd never seen before.

"This...thing that you and I share, it doesn't always work. We don't always remember, but I want- I need you to understand that this won't last forever. Everything has an ending, and we're no exception to that rule." Zai felt even colder than before and she realized that the sun was gone. When had it gotten so dark out?

"What I'm doing right now? I don't think that- that I wanted this." He sounded strained like he was forcing himself to speak. "Except, I don't think I had a choice in the matter either. If there's anything you can do-!" Suddenly, Unknown was gripping her shoulders and she was instinctively reaching for her phone.

"Zai, please! Don't leave me here again! Remember!" She felt like she was drowning as the glass screen splintered in her palm.

❆ Christmas Day - ? ? ? ❆

Gasping for breath, she awoke to the sensation of being smothered by her blankets. After a few minutes of struggling to remove them, she flailed wildly for a light switch. The moment she was brought out of darkness, she realized where she was.

"Rika's apartment? But I..." Stumbling to the bathroom, she splashed her face with water and rubbed it against a towel vigorously. Her breathing still hadn't slowed, and when she looked in the mirror, her eyes seemed darker than usual. "O-kay...that was a weird dream." Was it a dream?

"M-memory? Dream...memory? Why was Unknown there?" Her head hurt. Crawling back to her bed, she took a moment to search for her phone. When she found it, she realized the screen was cracked near the bottom.

"Oh...I must have dropped it. I guess I'll have to get this fixed tomorrow." Thankfully, it still worked. Taking care to avoid worsening the fractures on the phone, she opened the RFA app.

 _Zai has joined the chat room._

/ **ZEN** : Zai! Merry Christmas! /

/ **Jaehee Kang** : I see Zai is here. Merry Christmas! /

Trying to shove down her involuntary trembling (why was she acting like this?!), she sent them both a response.

/ **Zai** : Already? Regardless, Merry Christmas you two! /

Taking slow, deliberate breaths, she set her phone aside for a moment and stared at her ceiling. It felt like there was something she was forgetting. Something important.

"Merry Christmas to me..."


	3. Future

AN: Hi this is all fluff! Merr Crimmus!

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❆ Christmas Day - 11:25 AM ❆

Although she was supposed to be asleep at the moment, Zai was hard at work inviting guests for the next party. If everything went according to plan, then the participant count for their next fundraiser would be a record breaker! Still, she'd been up for nearly five hours already without eating breakfast. She knew if she didn't get a head start on the day, she'd be intercepted by-

"Babe...what are you doing working?" And there it was.

"Zenny! I was just finishing up some emails-" Her husband shuffled up to her while wrapped in a thick, fluffy robe and rested his chin atop her head.

"Ah ah ah. We're supposed to be on vacation." He plucked her phone out of her hands and placed in his pocket while she feebly tried to retrieve it. "Emails can wait until tomorrow."

"But Zen!" She extended the last letter of his name and clung to his sleeves. "I'm so close to breaking my last record...over five hundred guests! It's unprecedented!" A laugh cut through the atmosphere and she felt a pair of lips press against her forehead.

"You can break your record _later_. It's Christmas and we're not supposed to be up until everyone else is up too." Scooping her up out of the lounge chair she'd been curled up in, Zai withheld a squeal as she was carried back to the bedroom and gently deposited between a sleeping Jaehee and Saeran. Zen slid into bed from the other side, and she forced down a giggle at seeing Saeran instinctively cuddle closer to the taller man. Toning her voice down to a whisper, she let one hand drift over entwine with Jaehee's.

"So, how did you get up without waking them?" Zen grimaced lightly.

"With a lot of difficulty. I still haven't figured out how you do it so easily." Humming gently, she let her head sink back against the pillows.

"You've just gotta be really smooth. You're so jittery, no wonder it's hard for you." He made a small noise of offense and Zai smiled at his antics.

"Whatever, just go to sleep you workaholic."

"Hypocrite."

"Love you too, Zai."

By the time he'd said it she was already well on her way to unconsciousness, surrounded by the love and warmth of those she cherished the most.

❆ Christmas Day - 02:41 PM ❆

It was well into the day by the time Zai woke up once more. She was disappointed to find the bed empty except for her and dragged her feet all the way to the closet before pulling on her own robe and venturing out into the rest of the cabin to search for her spouses. Thankfully, she didn't have to search for long due to the noises coming from the kitchen.

Stepping into the room, she sighed with pleasure at the warmth that immediately washed over her. Jaehee and Zen were sitting at the table, talking softly, and Saeran was in front of the stove cooking.

"Hey, are those pancakes?" The occupants of the room all perked up upon seeing her, and Jaehee brightened immensely once Zai sat down next to her.

"Zai! Zen told me you got up early to work on your phone again." Trust Zen to rat her out to their wife like this! She was sleeping on Jaehee's side of the bed tonight.

"I, uh, might have responded to a few emails." Jaehee gave her a fond look of exasperation.

"Jumin called me this afternoon and told me that the invite list jumped from two hundred to nearly three hundred in only a few hours. That is definitely _not_ what I would consider a few emails." Zai loved Jaehee, she really did, but sometimes the woman could be absolutely ruthless.

"I'm sorry! I just love party planning so much! I love getting to know the guests and helping plan different showings and displays and-" Her rambling was interrupted when Saeran slid a plate piled high with several fruit-filled pancakes in front of her before sitting down with his own stack of berry-filled breakfast. "Ooh! Thank you! I'm starving." She leaned over to press a hasty kiss to his cheek and grinned when she noticed his face turning red. "So cute..."

"Just be quiet and eat." The words were said fondly, and Zai made sure to show her appreciation by digging in with enthusiasm. It had been a while since Saeran had last cooked, but his skills hadn't deteriorated at all in that time.

"These are amazing, RanRan!" His blush crept up further and he ducked his head to start eating his own food instead. "Anyways Jaehee, I don't consider it work so don't worry about it, please?" Jaehee just sighed with acceptance.

"Regardless, we're not letting you have your phone back until we have returned home." Zai was surprised when she was gently pulled over to the side so that Jaehee could bestow her own kiss on the corner of her mouth before withdrawing. "It's for your own good." Ignoring the rush of heat spreading across her face, she turned to Zen after hearing him make a disgruntled noise.

"You guys are hogging her to yourselves...my turn!" Zai was assaulted by a barrage of kisses as Zen leaned over the table to kiss her cheeks, eyelids, nose-!

"Ah! Enough, Zen! Space, space!" She laughed as she pushed him away, a smug grin beaming back at her.

"I win! I've officially kissed Zai the most today." He sounded so proud of it, too.

"Pff, there's no winning here. She'll just kiss one of us again later." Saeran spoke up from where he was currently finishing his last pancake, and Zai was reminded of her food. While she was eating, she watched her husbands eye each other, energy in their gazes.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'll just have to stop her from kissing you then."

"How do you plan to do that, Mister Movie Star?" The teasing nickname got a playful growl out of Zen as he stood from his chair to approach the other man.

"She can't kiss you if I'm kissing you instead, hmm?" Saeran's face went almost as red as his hair as he recoiled.

"S-stop...that's too much." There was no conviction in his voice as Zen leaned down to hug him, his arms immediately going around his shoulders. While they were preoccupied, Zai quickly scurried to the opposite side of the table so she could sit down next to Jaehee. The other woman was watching the scene as though it was a scene out of one of Zen's plays. Letting her head rest against her enraptured wife's shoulder, Zai smiled.

After what could be considered a very late brunch, everyone had gathered in front of the fireplace to exchange presents. Most of the gifts were general. A comb for zen, a box set of Zen's musicals for Jaehee, and an assorted basket of candy for Saeran. Zai, however, had been reminded of an idea from a while ago and she'd only just had the chance to finally give them the presents she'd been jealously guarding from their eyes for weeks. Excusing herself, she dashed back to the bedroom and fished out the tenderly wrapped boxes from the inside of her suitcase before returning.

"I hope you guys like these!" She gently handed each of them a box before sitting down and folding her hands in her lap, trying not to fidget. "I really wanted to get you all something nice so-" She ducked her head after seeing their amused looks. "J-just open them..." Zai didn't have to say it twice with Jaehee being the first to open hers, slowly peeling back the wrapping and taking the lid off.

"Oh, Zai..." Jaehee held a hand up to mouth as she gasped, prompting Zen and Saeran to quickly, but carefully, open their boxes as well.

"Whoa...are these made of cashmere?" Zen lifted a lavender colored sweater out of his box at the same time Jaehee and Saeran picked up theirs.

"Now we all match!" She tugged on the hem of her own sweater and watched the realization dawn on their faces as well as their subsequent rush to put them on. Saeran looked like he was in awe as his hands smoothed down the pastel mint fabric.

"It's so soft," His voice wobbled just a bit. "Thank you..." Zai smiled and moved to hug him while Zen and Jaehee donned theirs.

"This is my favorite color!" Jaehee's eyes glistened as she wrapped her arms around herself. "Where did you get these? I didn't think anyone sold clothes like this in stores." Zai blinked.

"Oh, I ordered them from the same place I got mine." Zen's gasp startled her and Saeran snickered when she jumped.

"You mean these are all custom made!? But- cashmere is already expensive! How did you afford these?"

"Don't worry about it. I've been saving up for a while." Jaehee and Zen gave each other a look and Saeran stiffened next to her. Next, they were both tackled to the floor by their enthusiastic spouses with a cry of surprise.

"Zai! We love you!" Her sight blurred with unshed tears as she was pulled into a group hug. She couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather spend Christmas than with these three.

❆ Christmas Day - 10:53 PM ❆

Once the room was cleared of wrapping paper and the presents were put away, the group took to light conversation as Zai drifted in and out of her dozing state. At some point, she'd fallen asleep. Although she wasn't as stressed as she used to be, she had never really grown out of her tendency to nap at anytime, anyplace. When she regained consciousness, she was lying perpendicular in Saeran's lap. He was reading a book over her stomach and hadn't looked up when she started moving.

"...Saeran?" Not taking his attention away from the pages, he hummed lightly.

"Yes?" Moving slightly to get more comfortable, Saeran momentarily lifting his book off of her abdomen while she shifted so that she was sitting in his lap.

"Where's Zen and Jaehee?" He snorted with amusement as she leaned her head into the crook of his neck.

"I think I heard Jaehee asking for a private performance." His nose scrunched up in an adorable way. "It had something to do with a wolf?" Face turning red, Zai giggled into her palm.

"You know, she denied it the last time I asked about that particular play, but I knew she definitely wanted to see Zen's nude scene." Saeran moved back and gave her an odd look.

"You...Zai?"

"Hmm?"

"You did remember...That last Christmas we spent together." Her eyes widened as she realized the meaning in his words.

"It-it wasn't a dream...oh, no, Saeran!" He set his book aside and she felt arms slide around her waist as her own wrapped around his shoulders. "I'm sorry, I forgot! I shouldn't have taken so long..."

"Zai, it's okay." He gestured to the space around them. "None of that previous stuff matters. I'm just glad I'm here."

"Ah, I still wish I remembered sooner...I could have avoided so many problems if I had." His lips pressed against hers and she sighed into his touch.

"If it makes you feel any better, I think I forgot too. My memory back then wasn't the best."

"Well, I'm very glad you're here now too." Zai pulled him in closer and peppered her own set of kisses across his face, delighting in his soft laughter.

"Thank you for helping me..."

"No, thank you for staying." Trapped in his embrace, she was helpless to his tender hug, though she wasn't complaining about it at all.

It was Zai's favorite Christmas yet.


End file.
